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How To Be Happy – Where To Find Happiness
by Robert Turner
HOW TO BE HAPPIER
Would you like to be happier?
Happiness is much sought after but it’s hard to pin down, hard to find and hold.
There’s an infinite amount of happiness available, it has no limits, but the direct pursuit of happiness seldom works.
If you lose some happiness, it’s hard to recapture.
Many people have happiness in abundance when they are young, they have it then without even trying. But when they try to get more of it, they can’t find it.
It’s elusive.
WE HAVE IT ALL - A WORLD OF ABUNDANCE
We live in times of unprecedented abundance, security, safety, freedom, choice, travel, mobility, entertainment, career options, communication and information. But this has not delivered more happiness.
Every month, hundreds of thousands of Americans ask Google “How can I be happy?” and “How can I be happy again?” These are the tip of the iceberg as they are just the people asking Google, and not everyone seeks happiness by asking Google. Other indicators of widespread unhappiness are record levels of demand for counselling, psychotherapy, psychiatry, antidepressants and recreational drugs.
People are seeking happiness but struggling to find it in the amounts they want.
We know it exists but we don’t know where to find it. Other people’s lifestyles can look very alluring as depicted in social media, mass media, ads etc. Those people look so happy, maybe that’s where happiness exists, a fabulous lifestyle and physical beauty? But, it appears that this is not where happiness is to be found.
Evidently, happiness is not in the places we’re looking. Where can it be hiding?
Are you as happy as you used to be?
Diminishing happiness as you get older is common but not inevitable. Once you notice that you aren’t as happy as you used to be, you might start trying to get it back. But it’s slippery.
If you’re wondering why pursuing happiness doesn’t work, why it isn’t where we’re looking, could it be that as a society, we’re looking in the wrong places?
WHERE DO YOU FIND HAPPINESS?
If you had to guess, where would you say most people seek happiness, and at a guess, where might they think it comes from?
What makes you happy?
What is it about those things that makes you truly happy? (key question!)
What other emotions do you feel when you feel happy?
Did you feel happier years ago? What made you happy then?
You have activities and things you enjoy and you feel good when doing those – vacations, Christmas, parties, dining out, seeing family and friends, movies, golf / walking / hobbies / shopping / etc.
But is this true, enduring happiness or are these but moments of fun, joy, happiness? Are they pleasant “distractions” from a life where everyday stuff is less fun? Could there be a deeper experience of happiness, one that is not based on doing stuff that you like to do? Do you need to be doing things to feel happy?
Do you only or mostly feel happy when you have happy things going on in your life? Do you feel happy without them?
Don’t stop having fun! Keep doing the things you love to do, do more of them! Giving yourself permission to have fun purely for fun’s sake is a happiness hack for grown-ups!
WHERE HAPPINESS IS LOCATED
Happiness is located in your inner world. People tend to seek it in their outer world but it is not found there. Your outer world is what you experience with your five physical senses.
What is your Inner World? Your inner world is the combination of your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attitudes, imagination, experiences, desires and your current and previous perceptions of reality. It’s how you see yourself, what you want and what you are paying attention to.
You will feel unhappy when your outer world doesn’t match your inner world.
If your outer world does not conform to what you think and believe, to your desires and hopes, you will not find the happiness you seek.
Your inner world shapes how you feel about things in your outer world and therein lies the secret to happiness. You can’t change your outer world immediately, but you can change your inner world any time you decide to.
Happiness is a feeling, an emotion. When you feel that happy emotion consistently, it is a state of happiness. But it starts as an emotion.
Your emotions, that is to say your feelings, how you feel about things, are triggered by your thoughts.
Your thoughts are determined by your beliefs.
You might think that your happiness comes from things external to you such as people, money, success, status , power, vacations, possessions, but it doesn’t. It actually comes from your beliefs and thoughts about those external things and everything else.
It all starts with your beliefs. They underpin your thoughts, and your thoughts determine your emotions which includes happiness. Fortunately, you can modify or change your beliefs.
This is why you can’t get anywhere by trying to change your thoughts. They won’t change. They won’t budge. It’s why affirmations that you don’t believe to be possible don’t work. You need to work at the level of beliefs.
You cannot change your life by changing your thoughts because your thoughts are underpinned by your beliefs. To change your thoughts you must change your beliefs. Different beliefs will generate different thoughts and different thoughts will generate different emotions.
There are two fundamental kinds of beliefs:
- Empowering beliefs
- Limiting beliefs.
If you’d like to know more and how to overcome limiting beliefs, which is the ultimate secret to happiness, check out he 5 Keys to Overcoming Limiting Beliefs.
