Your degree of happiness in life is a function of your beliefs
You may think that your happiness is a function of your circumstances, your situation, but it turns out that there’s more to it than this. Much more.
Let’s look at beliefs.
If you have a core belief that you deserve to be happy, if you truly believe that you deserve to be happy, then happiness will follow.
Many people have a limiting belief that “I don’t deserve to be happy” or a variation on this.
Anyone who holds that belief won’t be happy – not truly happy, not profoundly or enduringly happy. They may be happy when certain things happen in their life but that’s circumstantial and it fades over time, or if that thing fades.
A limiting belief is one where you don’t have all the information.
We know that true happiness is possible because we know happy people. And we’ve all felt moments of happiness, perhaps have had periods of happiness.
Back to happiness and our topic – Do we deserve to be happy?
The question depends in part on how one defines “happiness” – whether as temporary pleasure, or as lasting joy, deeper fulfillment and meaning. We’re looking for the latter, lasting joy, for deeper fulfillment and meaning. True happiness is not about external circumstances, transient events or material things.
What we’re talking about here is a kind of underpinning happiness, a state of happiness that’s permanent, one that doesn’t depend on external conditions. It’s innate. I call it “Jesus or Buddha-like bliss.” Both Jesus and Buddha experienced a range of emotions but their fundamental state of bliss never varied. You could call it a state of love, living in a state of love.
This leads to a deeper question about the nature of spiritual enlightenment – which rather than transcending emotions entirely, means experiencing emotions fully but without attachment. One of my favorite Zen Buddhist quotes is “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” The core meaning is profound:
Enlightenment doesn’t change the basic activities of life
The change is in how you experience and perceive these activities
- The mundane contains the sacred
- True enlightenment is found in ordinary moments
- There’s no physical escape from daily life, nor should there be. The “escape” is your perspective while daily life continues as before.
- Profound spiritual realization ultimately brings us back to the simple reality of everyday life, but with a transformed understanding.
Transcending attachment leads us in turn to a powerful framework for understanding emotions, limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs.
Limiting Belief Busting Framework
When you feel a negative emotion it’s a signal from your internal guidance system (which you could call your subconscious, superconscious, higher self or inner self) that a limiting belief has been activated.
When you feel a positive emotion, an empowering belief is active.
This next bit may be a challenging concept but here it is anyway: all limiting beliefs are false and all empowering beliefs are true. And as I said earlier, a limiting belief is simply one that lacks information.
- If you can identify the underlying belief that is active, then you’re on your way!
- If it’s a limiting belief, you can prove it false.
- If it’s an empowering belief, you can cultivate it.
If you are interested in exploring how to apply this in your own life, feel free to book a (free) chat with me to see how this works and how it can work for you
BOOK A LIMITING BELIEF-BUSTING SESSION
I have some Christian coaching clients. I realised that what I have written above is not by itself always sufficient for them to believe that they deserve to be happy because first, they need to know and believe that God wants us to be happy.
Does He? Does God want us to be happy?
Let’s find out.
A Christian Perspective on Deserving Happiness
God created a world of love, beauty, joy and creativity for us to enjoy. Concepts like Heaven and Paradise suggest God ultimately wants human fulfillment. The Psalms frequently speak of rejoicing and gladness in God.
Many Biblical passages speak of joy, celebration, and abundance as gifts from God. “I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10:
Jesus’s statement about bringing “abundant life” suggests God wants humans to experience fullness and flourishing. This can include emotional happiness, but it also points to spiritual fulfillment and meaning.
You may wonder then why we humans have suffering? It creates contrast to enable us to understand good; love and beauty. Without darkness we could not appreciate light. Without drought we would not appreciate rain. If you’re having a picnic, you won’t appreciate the rain but without the rain you wouldn’t be having a picnic – no food!
You can choose how to frame events that you see as negative, both bigger and smaller events than a spot of rain on your picnic. You can take a different perspective on these:
- If God created events that you see as negative, there must be a reason He did this. If you don’t understand why he did this, then it follows that you don’t have all the information that God does. This is the nature of a limiting belief – it’s one where you don’t have all the information. This is true with or without Christian beliefs
- Events that you see as negative might not seem negative to someone else, which shows us that our opinion is a choice.
The question of whether the Christian God wants people to be “happy” touches on a central theme in Christian theology: God’s desire for human flourishing and well-being.
From a theological perspective, God desires a loving relationship with humanity. True happiness in Christian teaching often springs from being in communion with God, rather than solely from external circumstances.
Many modern Christian thinkers argue that God wants human flourishing, which includes but isn’t limited to happiness
God ultimately desires human happiness—but that “happiness” is more deeply rooted in spiritual well-being and right relationship with God than in fleeting emotions or purely worldly comfort. This idea ties in with what I wrote above, that true happiness is not a function of external or material things. We could call this enduring happiness by a different name: Joy.
Even on the cross, Jesus said about the soldiers who crucified him “Father forgive them for they know nor what they do” Luke 23:34. This is often quoted as a powerful example of Christian forgiveness, even of enemies, but it is something else as well. It’s an example of a state of mind that is not a function of external circumstances. Jesus existed in a state of love and no circumstance was able to change that.
Many Christian thinkers distinguish between temporary pleasure and deeper fulfillment.
In many biblical passages, there is an emphasis on joy—a deeper, more enduring quality—rather than simple, short-term happiness. Christian thought often distinguishes between joy that comes from God (which endures through trials) and worldly pleasure (which can be transient).
John 15:11: “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
James 1:2–4: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds…”
While the Christian life can include joy, scripture also acknowledges suffering and trials as part of human experience. God’s desire for our ultimate “good” doesn’t always align with constant comfort; rather, it includes growth through adversity.
Most mainstream Christian teachings would say that God does want people to experience happiness and fulfillment—but this happiness is typically understood as:
- Rooted in God’s Character and Presence: It’s about finding joy and peace in relationship with God.
- Oriented Toward Others: True joy often involves love and service to one’s neighbors, reflecting the relational nature of the Gospel.
- Enduring Beyond Circumstances: Even in hardship, Christians believe that God offers hope and joy that go beyond immediate circumstances.
While “happiness” can be a shorthand term, the Christian tradition frequently focuses on a deeper sense of joy, purpose, and peace that comes from living in communion with God and following Christ.
Conclusion
✔ Yes you deserve to be happy.
✔ Yes we can all be happy.
✔ Happiness or a lack of it is a function of your beliefs. You can choose your beliefs, therefore you can choose happiness..
✔ Your emotional guidance system tells you when a limiting belief is active.
✔ You can prove that limiting belief false and adopt a new empowering belief.
✔ True happiness is better thought of as Joy, which is an enduring state.
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